More on Being a Good Listener

More on Being a Good Listener The other day, a friend called to ask me for my advice. As I was gleefully providing my input, I was then provided with excuses and reasons why my advice wouldnt work. OK, I know I am not always righthowever, I was being asked for my advice, right? When we ask questions, which is what we all need to be doing to better understand what we dont know, then being a good listener requires that we take in the information.If we need to gain clarification, we need to ask more questions.I dont believe we should side track the conversation by getting into the reasons why the advice isnt good. It might be enough for you to know that the person you have asked for advice from provided you with info you already knew or have already tried. Fine. Move on to someone else. We all want to be heard, not criticized. I have a mentor who is wonderful at listening. She asks great questions and never makes me feel stupid. If she doesnt agree with something Ive said, she asks another question to dig deeper into the stupid thing Ive just said. For example: Hannahs stupid statement: All job seekers are lazy Brilliant mentor: What do you mean by lazy, Hannah?Someoneelse:No, they arent lazy, they just dont know what else to do Hannahs answer: Well, they just dont do what they need to do Brilliant mentor: So why do you think they dont do what they need to do? Hannah feeling stupid: Because they dont know what they dont know, but I guess that doesnt make them lazy, but perhaps uninformed (AHA moment for me, right?) I am not suggesting that we dont debate or discuss opinions or views, that is very important, but perhaps not appropriate to the conversation in which we are requesting advice.